The Day God Went Bowling for Newsies!
by Backstage
Summary: What could be greater than to have the newsies in your living room... during a thunderstorm? Ha ha! Great stuff, that!
1. Thank God for Thunderstorms!

Yippee skippy! The story can begin!!  
  
BUMLETS: *cough*DISCLAIMER!*cough*  
  
Oh, wait.. I gotta do the blasted disclaimer first. *grumbles curses under her breath* Hookay. So I don't own "Newsies" (though I guess Disney doesn't own them either since they don't give them ANY of their attention. Growl.) But Disney owns them, so I don't, and neither does Sapphy. *consoles Sapphy and herself with a happy box of chocolate-covered newsies* Sh-yeah.  
  
SAPPHY: Yuck. I think I got a Pulitzer! *spits it out*  
  
Okay... first, must pay homage to the great and powerful Sapphy *fanfare* for helping me mucho much with this whole endeavor. *Huggles Sapphy* Okay, everyone! Now, every hour, ON the hour, we bow and pay our respects to her, understand?!!   
  
RACETRACK: Ya damn straight! *smiles at Sapphy*  
  
SAPPHY: *gets a devilish glint in her eye and pulls RACE into STAGEY'S spacious walk-in closet* Welp! This is your baby now, Stagey! Call me when you need me! *from inside the closet* Racey... I've been waitin' for this moment for a long time...  
  
RACETRACK: *from inside the closet* WOOHOO!  
  
Ah, my kingdom for seven minutes in heaven... *grins wickedly at JACK who averts his eyes nervously*  
  
**********************************************************  
  
So... the story! HA! RIGHT! Here's our lovely story! Do enjoy it, won't you?  
  
STAGEY: *to audience* It was a dark and stormy night.  
  
AUDIENCE: *stares blankly*  
  
STAGEY: No really!! It was! And so anyhow, on this dark and stormy night, I was IMing my best e-pal, Sapphy...  
  
SAPPHY: *typing to STAGEY* Well, I still think Patrick is Snipeshooter... He has to be! There! That's it! I solved the mystery! Case closed! *Smiles proudly*   
  
  
  
STAGEY: *typing to SAPPHY* Aw, yay! I'm so proud! *applauds wildly*  
  
SAPPHY: *still typing* *Takes a bow* Thank you. Thank you... Heh heh...   
  
STAGEY: *still typing* Aw, crap.. this storm is sucky. I think I'd better go.  
  
SAPPHY: *typing* Hmm... OK, then. TTYL!  
  
STAGEY: *is about to sign off when a wicked-bad bolt of lightning sends the computer into a frenzy* Aw, crap.  
  
((doorbell rings))  
  
STAGEY: What the--? *runs downstairs and opens the front door*  
  
SAPPHY: *waves cheerfully* Stagey!!  
  
STAGEY: *does happy dance with SAPPHY* Yay!! Wait. *pauses* How the hell did you get here?  
  
SAPPHY: *shrugs* Don't know...  
  
((Bet it was the lightning.))  
  
STAGEY: *pokes SAPPHY gleefully* Aw, you're real! And you're not a beer belly-scratching stalker who poses as "Newsies" fans to hack into people's computers!! Woohoo!  
  
SAPPHY: *majorly confused* WHAT?!  
  
STAGEY: Sorry... wanna come in? *leads the way into her room* OoOoOh! Look at this!  
  
((Indeed, it is a lovely still of the newsies... MID-THRUST! BWAH!))  
  
SAPPHY: *eyes bug out* Meep. *claws longingly at the picture* You ever wonder why Race isn't in any of these thrusts? *pouts*  
  
STAGEY: *shrugs* Don't know! *grumbles at storm outside* Better turn this artifact of a computer off, Sapph. Damn storm... *shakes fist at sky* Why, God, why?   
  
SAPPHY: He must be angry... Or he's bowlin'... Alrighty... *waves goodbye to the picture sadly* *Pause* I'm hungry... What do you got in this place to chow on? *Walks out of the room*  
  
STAGEY: *calls over shoulder* Cheez-Its are in the second cupboard door from the left!   
  
SAPPHY: YAY! CHEEZ-ITS!!!! *Runs to cupboard*   
  
STAGEY: *shakes head* You're such a goober!   
  
SAPPHY: *Runs INTO cupboard*   
  
STAGEY: Sapphy!! Shall I get thee a helmet? *tries to save picture but computer starts acting funky* Oh crap... Ohhhh crap.   
  
SAPPHY: *in her happy Cheez-its world* Ow.... Hey, Stagey! Haha! Cheez-its! JACK! HAHA! I crack me up... *Rummages through cupboard*   
  
STAGEY: *clicks furiously at computer* Ah! Sapphy.... my computer's getting crazy!! *ducks as a thunderclap sends a happy sonic boom through the house*  
  
SAPPHY: *Runs in with a mouthfull of Cheez-its* Wha va Hell? *Swallows* What WAS that???   
  
STAGEY: *picks head up from a haphazardly strewn pillow* Beats me!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Continues to munch of Cheez-its* The Lord works in mysterious ways... *Pause*   
  
STAGEY: *trying to be the smart-ass and figure things out* I don't know! I just-- *doorbell rings* Sweet Forrest Gump! Who could THAT be?   
  
SAPPHY: Life is like a box of chocolates... And all the good ones have already been eaten, leavin' behind the crappy tastin' ones... *Nods*  
  
STAGEY: *pauses, twitching nose* Hmm. Never thought of that! *skedaddles over to the door and flings it open* HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!  
  
SAPPHY: MARY'S AT THE FRONT DOOR?!?!?!?! Stagey, if she's pregnant again, whatever you do, don't turn her away....  
  
((*singing* O, Holy Night...))  
  
STAGEY: *stunned speechless* Oh... my... God... *collapses in a heap at the door at the sight of the newsies on her front porch* *babble and drool* Meep.  
  
SAPPHY: *Stares at the newsies* Stagey, you silly girl, that's not Mary... It's just the newsies... *Walks off* Doo bee doo...   
  
((BWAH! SAPPHY! JUST TURN AROUND!))  
  
SAPPHY: *From Stage's room* AHHH! *Runs back in*   
  
RACETRACK: *rubbing head* What the HELL was that?   
  
SAPPHY: Hubba-wha-...EEp... *Points at the boys shakily*  
  
RACETRACK: Oh! Heh. *cocks eyebrow at Sapphy* How YOU'SE doin'?  
  
((Sh-yes. That Racetrack is one smooooth operator!))  
  
SAPPHY: *collapses next to STAGEY*  
  
SPECS: Damn you, Race!   
  
SAPPHY: *Faints*   
  
RACETRACK: *scratches head* That ain't never happened before... *in a quick reflex, catches Sapphy*   
  
JACK: *To Stage* Is ya friend gonna be awright??   
  
SPOT: Dammit tah Hell Kelly! Da more important ding is wheah are we???  
  
((Listen, you little twerp! NO one backtalks Jack Kelly-- oh my GAWD! JACK KELLY!!))  
  
STAGEY: *babbles* Ah-herm... er... gah... bwa... *goes cross-eyed and falls again... on top of her dog Toby*   
  
TOBY: Squeak! *gives newsies a dirty look and trots off to his supper dish*   
  
SAPPHY: *Talking in her sleep* The sea monkeys stole my money...   
  
DUTCHY: What the--? Sea monkeys?  
  
LES: *whimpering* I wanna go home!  
  
DAVEY: Shut up, you! *violently covers his mouth*  
  
SAPPHY: *New dream* Yes, I do take Anthony Racetrack Higgins as my husband for as long as I live...  
  
ALL NEWSIES: Whoa dere, Race!!   
  
RACE: *blushes*   
  
JACK: *Points and laughs at Racetrack*   
  
BLINK: *emerges through the crowd* I smell money!! *sniffs around for the wallet in Sapphy's back pocket*  
  
SAPPHY: *Wakes up* Stay away from my wallet you scabber! *Retreats to corner with a protective hand over her back pocket*   
  
BLINK: *pouts* Dammit.   
  
SAPPHY: *Looks at Stagey* What did you do to her?!?!   
  
STAGEY: *babbles indistincty*   
  
SAPPHY: *Pokes her*   
  
BLINK: Wha? I didn't do a damn thing!   
  
SAPPHY: Yes you did! *Under breath* It's always the pirates...   
  
BLINK: *grumble* I ain't no pirate... *retreats*  
  
STAGEY: *in her sleep, like Shawn in "Boy Meets World"* I'm going to the market to buy some eggs... rub two eggs together and you get a spark...  
  
SAPPHY: *Pause* What am I supposed to do? *Shakes Stagey* WAKE UP! *Spots out Tumbler* OHMYGOSH! *Drops Stagey*   
  
STAGEY: *eyes flutter open* Ooof. *and is once again rendered unconscious as Sapphy drops her*   
  
SAPPHY: *in hot pursuit of TUMBLER* You're so cccccccuuuuuuuutttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! *Rushes over to Tumbler to cuddle him* Can I keep you?   
  
TUMBLER: *panics and runs to the bathroom and locks the door*   
  
SAPPHY: *Starts to kick the door in* COME BACK HERE!   
  
RACE: *approaches Sapphy* He ain't comin' outta dere if ya keep bein' forceful.  
  
((Aw, Sapphy! Can't ya see? Race is jus' tryin' to get yer attention!!))   
  
SAPPHY: *Temptingly* I'll give you a cheez-it.... I mean, come on! A cheez-it!   
  
STAGEY: *babble and drool inertly*   
  
JACK: *Approaches Stage and picks her up* Wheah should I put 'er?   
  
MUSH: *rubs hands evilly* Lemme have 'er!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Half paying attention* In her room... Preferably in her bed...  
  
((Sh-YES! Good plan, Sapphy! Jack Kelly carrying my inert shape to my bed. Don't get no better 'n' that!))   
  
TUMBLER: *with the prospect of a Cheez-it* Uh... slip it under the door!   
  
SAPPHY: *To Tumbler* It doesn't work that way! Please come out... *Working up some tears*  
  
TUMBLER: *reluctantly opens door a smidgen of a crack* I opened the door! What do you want from me, huh?  
  
SAPPHY: Please, I'm not gonna kill you! *Tear* I just love you so much! *Hugs*   
  
TUMBLER: *smiles smugly at Race* Aw, really?   
  
SAPPHY: *Cuddles* Yes! You are by far, the CUTEST newsie!   
  
SPOT: Awright! Wheah da Hell are we??? *Is getting annoyed quickly*  
  
((A-herm. What else is new?))  
  
STAGEY: Heh-men-uh... *babbles incessantly as Mush makes a mad grab for her*  
  
  
  
JACK: *Backs away with Stage* Stop it, Mush!  
  
  
  
MUSH: Aw, please?  
  
  
  
JACK: No! She's unconcious foah Christ's sake!  
  
  
  
MUSH: *grins* I know.  
  
((Ohhh my God.))  
  
SPOT: No one ignores Spot Conlon...   
  
RACE: What da hell, Spot?   
  
SAPPHY: *Stares at Mush* Eww... Aren't you supposed to be all sweet?   
  
MUSH: Wha? Huh? Of course I am!   
  
SAPPHY: *To Race* Spot's talkin' to himself in the third person...  
  
  
  
RACE: *snickers*   
  
SAPPHY: *To Mush* you sure aren't now... That's like... Creepy-stalker crap you're pullin'...   
  
SPOT: WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!?!?!?!   
  
BUMLETS: Some one please answah da man befoah he explodes...?   
  
STAGEY: *briefly opens eyes, which are glazed over* Wha? *mumbles in a sing-song voice* You're in my house... happy day... *making up a song* bum bum bum-bum...  
  
SAPPHY: STAGEY! *Drops Tumbler and runs over to her* Are you okay????   
  
SPOT: I's jus' tawkin' tah myself heah, ain't I?   
  
SWIFTY: Pretty much....   
  
STAGEY: *looks around like a drunk on crack* Me? Oh... I'm fine. I think I'll go back to my village now... *perks up enough to yell at Spot* You're in my house, dumb-ass!   
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles at Spot* Stagey yelled at you! *Titters*  
  
((*cracks knuckles* Yer damn straight.))   
  
DUTCHY: *falls to the floor in a rush of giggles*   
  
JACK: *Sets Stage down* Glad tah see youse back...   
  
STAGEY: *wide eyed and bushy-tailed at the sight of Jack* Meep...   
  
JACK: *Smiles dashingly*   
  
RACE: Jack, you sure is one smooth operator!  
  
((Ah, that he is, Race, me boy... that he is... *melts*))  
  
STAGEY: *smiles with tongue halfway out of her mouth, looking like a complete fool*   
  
SAPPHY: *Smacks her upside the head* Dude! Don't do that! You look like Toby!   
  
TOBY: WOOF!   
  
SAPPHY: *Spots out all the boys at the door* Don't be shy! Come on in! *Ignoring the fact that it's not her house*   
  
STAGEY: *shoots Sapphy a Look*   
  
SAPPHY: *Spots out Dutchy and Specs* OHMYGOD! Stagey!   
  
STAGEY: Wheehee, Sapphy! Look who it is!! *gleefully skedaddles to the door*  
  
SPECS: *scared and confused* WHA?   
  
SAPPHY: It's my FAVORITE slashy couple! *Smiles widely*   
  
STAGEY: Yippee!!! *happy dances with Sapphy*   
  
SAPPHY: *Hugs Dutchy and then Specs* I love you guys!   
  
SPECS: Uh... whatsa slashy couple?   
  
SAPPHY: Um... Nothin'.... Never mind..... *Cough cough*   
  
STAGEY: *stifles a giggle*  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles along with Stage*  
  
((Sh-yes. Slash... like Fisher-Price: "Oh, the possibilities!"))  
  
RACE: *to Sapphy* What's goin' on heah?   
  
DUTCHY: Yeah, wheah are we?  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: *Stares at all that is Racetrack* I don't know.... And I don't care... You're here! *Hugs Race* I LOVE YOU!!!!!   
  
SARAH: *Glares at Sapphy* You just love everyone, don't you?  
  
((And just when we think things couldn't get better, SHE had to show up.))  
  
STAGEY: Aw, shit. What the hell are YOU doin' here?  
  
  
  
RACE: Yeah! Shut yer face, Sarah! *smiles at Sapphy* Get 'er, Sapph!   
  
SAPPHY: Yeah. What's so wron' with th- *Realizes it's Sarah* AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *Points at her* BITCH! BITCH! IT'S THE BITCH! *Snarls* My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father... prepare to die!  
  
STAGEY: Yay for "Princess Bride" allusions! *dog pound: WOOFWOOFWOOFWOOF!*  
  
SAPPHY:Sword... Sword... I NEED a sword... *Snatches Les' wooden sword away from him*   
  
LES: HEY!  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: Shut up! Do you want to hold your precious sword? Or for me to kill your sister?   
  
ALL NEWSIES: *chanting* KILL THE BEAST! KILL THE BEAST!   
  
STAGEY: Gah!!! BEAUTY AND THE BEAST allusions!! *titters gleefully*  
  
((*singing* Tale as old as time...))  
  
SAPPHY: *Pause* Wow... You ALL hate her?  
  
STAGEY: *under her breath* Except for Jack... *growls*   
  
DUTCHY: *Ignores Stagey* Yeah, sure! I mean, LOOK at 'er!   
  
SAPPHY: *Turns to Stage* Bein' the one who loves Jack... Would you care to do the honors? *Holds out sword to her tantalizingly*  
  
STAGEY: *blushes* Bite your tongue, Sapphy! I... uh, don't love Jack!! *grins devilishly* But I'd be glad to kill Sarah anyhow... *backs Sarah into a corner and hardly makes a dent since it's a wooden sword* Oh... bloody hell.   
  
SAPPHY: *Bites tongue* Ow.... Dammit! *Looks around before grabbing Spot's cane and slingshot*   
  
STAGEY: *runs frantically to knife drawer and pulls out the cheese grater*   
  
SAPPHY: Heehee... I touched Spot's butt to get his slingshot.... *Grins devilishly*  
  
((*gasp!* Sapphy! You dog! *grin*))   
  
STAGEY: *renders Sarah unconscious with slingshot and cane and proceeds to grate her to death*   
  
SAPPHY: Eww.... Sarah cheese....  
  
((Ah, the power of cheese.))   
  
STAGEY: *disposes of remains in a Ziploc baggie*   
  
SAPPHY: *Pulls out her trusty lighter* *Lights up the ziploc* MUAWAHAHAHAHAH! Fire pretty.... Oooh....  
  
LES: Hail to Sapphy and Stagey! The wicked bitch is dead!  
  
ALL NEWSIES: Hail, Sapphy and Stagey! The wicked bitch is dead!  
  
JACK: *immediately falls to his knees in bliss* T'ank you GOD!!! I'se free!! I'SE FREE!!  
  
((*tips hat* My work here is done.))   
  
SAPPHY: *Stares into the flames*   
  
RACE: *pulls Sapphy away* Sapphy... don't get crazy, now.  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: *Snaps out of it and glances over at Stage* This remind you of anythin'? *Winks*   
  
STAGEY: Sh-yes!  
  
((Ahh, "The NEWSIES of OZ!" How could anyone forget?))  
  
SAPPHY: *Pokes Race* Too bad he has no heart.... *Points at Jack* And Jack has no brains...   
  
RACE: *hurt* I got plenty haht!   
  
SAPPHY: *Looks at Spot* And Spot is a big baby....   
  
STAGEY: And look! *indicates Davey* It's the prettiest lady in Emerald City!   
  
SAPPHY: *Cocks eyebrow at Stage before bursting out in giggles*  
  
  
  
STAGEY: *shares a giggle-fest with Sapphy*  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: How are those red slippers, Davey? They look so beautiful on you. HAHAAHAHAHAH!   
  
DAVEY: *blushes* Wha? I don't have... agh. Forget it. I'm going home!   
  
STAGEY: Oh, but Davey... you CAN'T go home!  
  
((BUM BUM BUM!!! What can be done?! The newsies can't leave!! We have a whole host of things to do... not to mention our CC gals are comin' in later... Gah!))  
  
SAPPHY: *clings to Race* No!! He can't go! NO one's leavin'!!! *lightbulb* Heyyy... maybe they'll hang around if they review what's here so far... *points to audience*  
  
STAGEY: *sniffles* Good idea, Sapphy... *to audience* Folks, please review! I don't want 'em to go!!!  
  
JACK: *goes over to Stagey* Aw, Stagey... I ain't goin' nowheres...  
  
STAGEY: *bats Jack away* Hush!! We need the reviews!! *smiles sweetly at our audience* 


	2. Chex Mix, Karaoke, and Crocodile Tears

Well, *hands on hips* we weren't about to wait all day! So, without further ado... CHAPTER TWO!!  
  
ALL NEWSIES: Yahoo!!!  
  
***CHAPTER TWO: CHEX MIX, KARAOKE, AND CROCODILE TEARS***  
  
((*cough* Now WHERE were we??))  
  
SAPPHY: *Tears start to flow* They want to LEAVE us Stagey! *Starts to cry*   
  
STAGEY: Oh, right... *whimpers into a sofa pillow*   
  
RACE: *comforts Sapphy* Aw, don't cry, Sapphy!   
  
SAPPHY: *Scoots away from Race, crying harder* *Hugs Stagey as they cry together*   
  
STAGEY: Waaaah!   
  
SAPPHY: Waaaaahhhhh!!!!!   
  
BLINK: *cries as well for no apparent raeson*   
  
SKITTERY: * Hands each girl the Kleenex box*   
  
SAPPHY: *Motions for Blink to join them in the cry-fest*   
  
STAGEY: Group hug, Blink-man! They... *sniff* don't want us no more... *choke*   
  
JACK: *Looks at Blink disgustedly* Hey, hey, hey... Don't cry...   
  
BLINK: Aw, Dammit!!! *proceeds to cry*   
  
SAPPHY: *Cries on Blinks shoulder*  
  
STAGEY: *pulls away, revealing a nasty, tear-stained face* You don't love us no more!!   
  
  
  
DUTCHY: *puzzled, to Specs* Why are they all cryin'?   
  
SPECS: *Shrugs* Ya got me... I's still tryin' tah figure out what a slashy couple is...   
  
((Hee hee... SLASH!!))  
  
STAGEY: *stops crying and snickers at the thought of slash*   
  
SAPPHY: *Snickers with Stage*  
  
BLINK: Youse hate us!   
  
STAGEY: Aw, we love you Blink!   
  
SAPPHY: YEAH! *hugs Blink*   
  
BLINK: Ohhhh, yeah. *dazzling pimp smile*  
  
STAGEY: *wipes tears* Fine... you wanna know what happened?   
  
SAPPHY: *Blows nose in the Kleenex Skittery gave her*   
  
RACE: Ya damn right we wanna know what happened!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Tears* He yelled at us Stagey! *Whimpers*   
  
STAGEY: *comforts Sapphy and glares at Race* You see what you did?   
  
SAPPHY: Waaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!! Boys SUCK! They're so mean! *hugs Stagey*   
  
STAGEY: Men... they got no feelin's.   
  
SAPPHY: No! They don't! They only use us then leave us! *tears*   
  
BLINK: *still crying* I know! Got no respect, or noddin!   
  
STAGEY: *glares at the boys* You have no idea what you do to us girls!   
  
BLINK: Yeah! *Sapphy hands him a tissue, he blows his nose in it*   
  
STAGEY: So, you know what? We ain't gonna tell you what happened! What's more, you ain't goin' back!  
  
((Situations always get better when you have really hot hostages. Sh-yes! *victory dance*))  
  
SAPPHY: *Whimpers* They're not?  
  
STAGEY: You're damn right they ain't!! *squints at Jack possessively*   
  
DAVEY: *sighs, exasperated* Look, we're sorry!!  
  
((*cough*BULL*cough*))   
  
SAPPHY: *Snaps neck to look at Davey* Oh yeah, sure. How many times have I heard that? "Sorry Sapphy, I didn't mean to break up with ya 'cause you wouldn't sleep with me." "Sorry Sapphy, we're just friends." "Sorry Sapphy, I didn't know that was YOUR apple!" *Cries*   
  
((*Boys' eyes bug out*))  
  
STAGEY: Aw, Sapphy! *hugs*   
  
SAPPHY: *Hugs Stagey*   
  
STAGEY: *hands Sapphy the rest of the Kleenex and rubs her back* There, there...  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: *Sniffles*   
  
TOBY: *growls at the boys*   
  
SAPPHY: And we got rid of Sarah for them and everythin'!   
  
RACE: Hey, look! We didn't do nothin' wrong! It's all Davey's fault!   
  
STAGEY: *growls* I know.   
  
SAPPHY: *Shoots dagger glares at David* Why are you so uptight? *Sniffles*   
  
STAGEY: *raises eyebrow at Sapphy* Davey cheese, anyone? *whips out grater*   
  
SAPPHY: MUAWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!   
  
DAVEY: FINE! I'm sorry... whatever... just don't grate me, please!   
  
SAPPHY: *Stops crying instantly* Wow, that took A LOT of my actin' skills... You're probably the first to hold out that lon'... *Dusts herself off*  
  
((Bwah! Go femininity!! *sings* I enjoy being a girl!!))  
  
STAGEY: *hi-fives Sapphy*   
  
SAPPHY: *High fives Stagey* Boys may suck, but they're soooo easy... *Cackles*   
  
STAGEY: Damn straight!  
  
RACE: *cocks eyebrow* Grating? Mmm, sounds... kinky.  
  
SAPPHY: *Stares blankly at Race* Fine, if you like the idea of a kinky David... Be my guest... You two will make a cute couple... *Turns to Stagey* Never thought of THAT pairin' before...  
  
((*staggers and clutches heart* IT'S THE BIG ONE!))  
  
RACE: *turns white* I take it back! I take it ALL back!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles evilly*   
  
RACE: *locks himself in bathroom* Ooh... you got a corner toilet!   
  
STAGE: *blinks*   
  
DUTCHY: So... what do we do now?   
  
STAGEY: We party, babe!   
  
((*80s techno* Sweet dreams are made of this... who am I to disagree?))  
  
STAGEY: *brings in stereo, DVD player, and karaoke machine, brings out the Chex mix and gets the party started!*   
  
SAPPHY: *Blank stare* Hey Stagey! Whoo! Karaoke! What son's are on it?? CHEX MIX!!!! YAY!   
  
STAGEY: Lots! Which one you want?   
  
SAPPHY: King of New York! *Smiles widely*   
  
STAGEY: WOOOHOOOO!!   
  
NEWSIES: Wha?  
  
((Ah, the things we have to teach you... *smile*))  
  
STAGEY: *cues up KONY and she and Sapphy start to belt the words*   
  
SAPPHY: *Singing* A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces... *Cues Stagey to join her*   
  
STAGEY: A permanent box at Sheepshead Races!   
  
RACE: *wide-eyed*   
  
SAPPHY: A porcelain tub with boilin' water!   
  
STAGEY: A Saturday night with the mayor's daughter! Take it Sapphy!   
  
SAPPHY: Look at me! I'm the King of New York! Suddenly! I'm respectable! Starin' right atcha, lousy with stature! GO STAGEY! *Points at her*   
  
STAGEY: Nobbin' wit all da muckety-mucks! I'm blowin' my dough an' goin' deluxe!   
  
SAPPHY: And there I be! Ain't I pretty?   
  
STAGEY: It's my city...   
  
STAGEY AND SAPPHY: *Together* I'm the King of New York!  
  
SAPPHY: heehee   
  
STAGEY: Yay-hay!   
  
SPOT: *Unplugs the karaoke machine*   
  
RACE: *cocks an eyebrow, is quite impressed with Sapphy*  
  
((Sh-yeah! *high-fives Sapphy*))  
  
JACK: HEY! I LIKE dat song! *Gestures more to Stage than the karaoke*   
  
STAGEY: I wanna do another one!!  
  
SAPPHY: *Hits Spot upside the head* Put it back!   
  
SPOT: Did youse jus' HIT me???  
  
SAPPHY: DUH!   
  
((*grins proudly at Sapphy* That's my girl!))   
  
SPOT: *Pause* Not 'til youse explain a few dings...   
  
STAGEY: *rolls eyes* Okay, WHAT?   
  
SPOT: Wheah are we?   
  
STAGEY: Okay... welcome to 2003, gentlemen!   
  
SAPPHY: Didn't we already go over this??? *Crosses arms*   
  
STAGEY: Well, Sapphy, they're men. You gotta go through things at least six or seven times with them.   
  
SAPPHY: Yeah... Like the toliet seat thin'....  
  
((...and so many others...))   
  
RACE: What the hell?... 2003?!   
  
SNODDY: How did we get heah?   
  
STAGEY: *shrugs* Don't know.... what do you guys remember last?   
  
SAPPHY: *To Race* Yep shorty, you've traveled over a hundred years into the future... Now... *Turns to Spot* Plug it back in! *Becomes intrigued* Yeah... Where were you???   
  
BUMLETS: *gleefully* On a ceiling fan!   
  
SAPPHY: *Is awestruck* I love that part....  
  
((*beams* Don't we all?))  
  
RACE: Sheepshead Races... damn horse!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles at Race*   
  
RACE: *turns red*   
  
JACK: Wid... Um... *Quietly* Sarah....   
  
STAGEY: *snarls angrily*   
  
SAPPHY: *Glares at Jack* And WHAT were you doin'??? Hmmm???   
  
STAGEY: *puts in "I Will Survive" in the karaoke machine and belts*   
  
JACK: I was.... About tah, brake up wid 'er...   
  
STAGEY: *singing* At first I was afraid... I was petrified!! *stops* Pssh. Yeah, right.   
  
SAPPHY: *Gasps* Really?  
  
JACK: Really, really...  
  
((Yay, "Shrek"! Not like I'm comparing Jack Kelly to an ogre. Oh GAWD, no.))  
  
SAPPHY: *Suspicious* Why?   
  
JACK: She wouldn't let me have no fun!   
  
SAPPHY: *Muttering* Big surprise...   
  
STAGEY: *singing* I will survive!! *obliviously continues singing and ends her song with mediocre applause from the others*  
  
NEWSIES: *applauding mediocrely*   
  
SAPPHY: *Glares at the boys before bursting out into a wild applause* ENCORE! ENCORE STAGEY! *Throws manly flowers at her feet*   
  
STAGEY: Woohoo for manly flowers!!   
  
SAPPHY: Aren't they the best?? *Sniffs one before putting it behind her ear*   
  
STAGEY: *smiles*  
  
BUTTERS: *comes inside* Criminy, Stagey! You think you're making enough noise in here? *freezes and commences to stutter upon seeing the newsies*   
  
SAPPHY: *Points at Butters* Who's that, Stagey?  
  
STAGEY: *grumbles* Yeah... everyone, meet my sister Butters.   
  
SAPPHY: Butters??? As in South Park?? *Smiles widely*   
  
BUTTERS: Ha! I am Professor Chaos!   
  
SAPPHY: MUAWAHAHAHA! Professor Chaos!!! I LOVE HIM!   
  
BUTTERS: *reverts to squeaking and faints in Spot's arms*   
  
SPOT: What da...? *sniffs Butters* She smells good.   
  
SAPPHY: Uh-oh Spot.... Looks like you got a girl five years younger than ya infactuated with you... *Nudge nudge*   
  
STAGEY: *rolls her eyes* Hoo boy.   
  
SAPPHY: EWW!!!!!!!! *Hits Spot on the nose* STOP THAT!   
  
SPOT: Ow!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Snarls* You aren't a dog, CONLON! So stop snifflin' her... *Muttering* Cradle robber..   
  
SPOT: *grumbles under his breath* Yeah... *shifts Butters over to the sofa*   
  
STAGEY: *is quite disgusted with all of this*  
  
SAPPHY: *Pats Stagey on the shoulder* It will all be okay... *Smiles*   
  
STAGEY: *tries to avoid the issue* Okay... who wants more Chex Mix?   
  
TOBY: Woof.   
  
SAPPHY: *Hand shoots up in the air* ME!   
  
STAGEY: *hands Sapphy more Chex Mix* Ah, screw it... take the whole bag! *smiles*   
  
SAPPHY: YAY! *Starts munching out*   
  
DAVEY: Maybe you shouldn't eat so much.... I mean, you might get fat...   
  
((*All activity stops*))   
  
SAPPHY: E-Excuse me? *Shocked*   
  
STAGEY: *brandishes grater* WANT A PIECE OF ME, DIRT-BAG?!   
  
SAPPHY: Hey buddy! I have a fast metabolism... I'm gonna milk it for all it's worth! *Throws bits of Chex Mix at Davey*   
  
DAVEY: AHH! It's in my hair!   
  
RACE: Dammit, Davey! What's yer problem!? *shyly turns to Sapphy* Sapphy's gorgeous... *blushes*  
  
((Meep! *pats heart*))  
  
STAGEY: *raises eyebrow*   
  
DAVEY: *Runs around in circles* Getitout! Getitout! Getitout!   
  
SAPPHY: *Oblivious to Racetrack's advances, continues to throw Chex Mix at David*   
  
SPOT: *renders Davey unconscious with his cane*   
  
SAPPHY: YEAH SPOT!   
  
SPOT: Yes... I AM a badass.   
  
BUTTERS: *perks up* Yes, you are!! *goes back to sleep*   
  
SAPPHY: *Puts her hand up for a high-five, but he never returns it* Umm... *Takes Spot's hand, then slaps it*   
  
ALL NEWSIES: Yay!   
  
SAPPHY: WHOO!!!   
  
BLINK: Now it's time tah REALLY get dis party started!  
  
((Aren't you eager to get the party started? Well, stay tuned for the next chappie! Complete with partyin' and Vanilla Pepsi!!))  
  
SNODDY: *incredulous* Vanilla Pepsi? Whazzat?  
  
((*like in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure* YOU'LL see!!))  
  
SAPPHY: And please, please, PLEASE review!!  
  
RACE: *blushes and looks at Sapphy, then the ground* I still t'ink you'se pretty...  
  
((GAH!!)) 


	3. Someday My Prince Will Come

*Claps hands* Ho-kay! As the brilliant Pink says: "I'm... comin' out! So you better get this party started!")  
  
***CHAPTER THREE: SOMEDAY, MY PRINCE WILL COME...***  
  
((*"Hot in Herre" begins to play on the stereo... bass thumps*))  
  
STAGEY AND SAPPHY: Woohoo!!!   
  
NEWSIES: *look confused*   
  
SAPPHY: *To Stagey* Do you get why they keep addin' extra "R"s???   
  
STAGEY: *shrugs* C'mon., fellas! *gets her groove on*  
  
JACK: *Slowly walks over to Stage* Would ya care tah dance wid me? *Smiles*  
  
((Whee-hee!!))   
  
STAGEY: *giddy as a schoolgirl* Okay! *snickers* Know how to dance?   
  
JACK: Do I know how tah dance? DO I KNOW HOW TAH DANCE??!?! *Pause* I think I do...   
  
((Well, he's cute. We never said he was SMART.))  
  
STAGEY: *giggles and proceeds to groove, with or without Jack*   
  
SAPPHY: Hey Stagey! Maybe you should teach him the art of freakin'! *Winks, Laughs evilly*   
  
STAGEY: *eyes light up like a kid on Christmas day but hesitates* I dunno, Sapph. I might scare 'im!  
  
SAPPHY: *Proceeds to attempt to get Dutchy and Specs to freak together* Ahh... He lives in New York... It might not surprise him THAT much...   
  
DUTCHY: *scared poopless* Uh, Sapphy? This wouldn't by any chance have to do with dat 'slash' t'ing would it??   
  
SAPPHY: *Innocently* Maybe...  
  
  
  
STAGEY: *stifles a giggle at Sapphy*  
  
((GAWD! I love slash!! *makes a mental note to make that her next project*))   
  
SPECS: I uh... Got tah go tah da bathroom... *Bolts to the bathroom*   
  
STAGEY: Pshh. Yeah, whatever!   
  
  
  
JACK: *After watching the scene with Dutchy and Specs, he turns back to Stage* Okay, teach me...   
  
((*shines nails on shirt* Honey, I'll teach you ALL my secrets.))  
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles in the background*  
  
STAGEY: Heh heh... okay, you asked for it! *thumbs up to Sapphy*   
  
SAPPHY: *Thumbs up*   
  
STAGEY: *proceeds to educate Jack in the art of sandwich dancing*   
  
SAPPHY: *Grins widely* GO STAGEY! WHOO!   
  
NEWSIES: *all gawk*   
  
BLINK: I didn't know you could DO that wit yer clothes on...  
  
((*blushes* Aw, criminy.))   
  
SAPPHY: Bump and grind his brains out!   
  
STAGEY: *turns a brilliant shade of red and stops abruptly* Ahh, they're all watching!   
  
RACE: *cocks eyebrow at Sapphy* 'Ey... wanna teach me how ta do that?  
  
SAPPHY: *Watches Stage and Jack* No.. Not really...  
  
((Aw, Sapphy!! Poor kid. Ya don't know what ya got until you don't got it... I think.))  
  
  
  
RACE: *mutters curses under his cigar... goes to raid the cupboard*   
  
STAGEY: *very much embarassed, leaves the dance floor and goes for a Vanilla Pepsi*   
  
SAPPHY: *Stops all action* Wait... I smell... Vanilla pepsi! AHHH!!!!!!!!!   
  
NEWSIES: Vanilla WHA?   
  
SAPPHY: *Runs after Stage to get her hands on the lovely drink... Chugs a whole can*   
  
STAGEY: *clinks cans with Sapphy* Cheers! *rummages through her fridge and passes a can to everyone*   
  
SAPPHY: Bottoms up! *Starts on her second one*   
  
DAVEY: To our man Denton! *realizes what he said* Oh, bloody hell.  
  
SAPPHY: *Stares* David?   
  
((*All newsie action stops*))   
  
SAPPHY: Question: What's your relationship with Denty??   
  
SNODDY: *snickers*   
  
SAPPHY: Hmm???   
  
DAVEY: *defensive* I don't have any relationship with him!   
  
SAPPHY: So... There's no business relationship... No friendship....   
  
DAVEY:.....   
  
SAPPHY: No.. *Cough cough* LOVERS! *Cough cough*   
  
LES: Hey, Davey! How 'bout you tell everyone about that time real late at night when you an' Denton--   
  
DAVEY: SHUT UP!   
  
SAPPHY: *Gasps* Oh my God Stagey... the rumors are TRUE.  
  
STAGEY: Dear me!   
  
RACE: That's MY line!   
  
STAGEY: Sorry.   
  
DAVEY: *grumbles* It was just a one-time thing... I SWEAR!!   
  
SAPPHY: AHHH!!!! I got a mental image! *hits self in head repetively* GETOUT!GETOUT!GETOUT!   
  
STAGEY: *gags and binds Davey and sticks him in the laundry room* It's okay, Sapph!  
  
((Always ten percent better when you can gag and bind the offending person.))   
  
SAPPHY: Whoo... *Takes a deep breath* I'm okay now... *Uses Race as a leaning post*   
  
DUTCHY: *brightens* I LIKE 2003!!   
  
PIE EATER: Me too!  
  
BUMLETS: I wanna stay here forever! *spins on ceiling fan*   
  
STAGEY: *meeps* Oh my god, SAPPHY! He's using MY fan!! *beams*   
  
SAPPHY: *Falls into Race, awestruck*   
  
RACE: *smiles dashingly, thumbs up to the audience* Sh-yes!!  
  
((Atta boy, Race! *thumbs up*))  
  
SAPPHY: *Watches Bumlets* He's like a.... Spinnin' angel...   
  
STAGEY: Hang on a second... where is Spot?... *dashes into the den where Spot is leaning over Butters' inert shape* SPOT!! DON'T TOUCH HER!!   
  
SAPPHY: Oh God... Spot. You're a cradle robber! *gags*   
  
((Gah.. SO wrong.))  
  
STAGEY: *pauses* Wait a second... Spot, you're like what, 15? 16?...  
  
SPOT: Nineteen...   
  
STAGEY: HOLY SHIT!   
  
BUTTERS: *gains consciousness* AHHH! SPOT!   
  
JACK: *Leans over to Stagey* So.... Ahem.. How old are youse??   
  
STAGEY: *cocks an eyebrow* Apparently Butters is okay with it... *grins at Jack* Me? Seventeen!   
  
JACK: Me too...   
  
((*singing* It's a small world after all...))  
  
SAPPHY: No shit... I mean, your son' goes.. *Singing* EVEN AT SEVENTEEN!!!!   
  
STAGEY: *smirks at Sapphy*   
  
BUTTERS: *gets up, pulls Spot into the linen closet, and proceeds to, erm.*  
  
((Erm. 'Nuff said.))   
  
SAPPHY: AHHH!!!! BUTTERS! He's five years older than you!!!!   
  
STAGEY: *can't help but laugh*   
  
SAPPHY: *Gags*   
  
BUTTERS: Love knows no age!!  
  
SAPPHY: I think I'm gonna be sick...   
  
STAGEY: *gets out barf bag*  
  
SAPPHY: Thanks... *Takes herself and barf bag into the bathroom* SPECS! Open the door! I need the bathroom!   
  
SPECS: Nuh-uh!   
  
SAPPHY: *Growls*   
  
STAGEY: *gets wide-eyed upon hearing strange noises coming from the vicinity of the closet*  
  
SAPPHY: *Runs over to the closet door and bangs on it* SPOT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! WHATEVER YOU'RE DOIN'! JUST STOP!   
  
SPOT: But she WANTS ta!  
  
BUTTERS: Damn straight!   
  
SAPPHY: *Clamps hands over ears* I'm not hearin' this...   
  
STAGEY: *brings over Snipeshooter* Hey listen, sis... I got a nice YOUNG newsie for ya.   
  
SAPPHY: It's illegal what he's doin'!   
  
STAGEY: In this state, if she gives consent... well.  
  
SAPPHY: *Evil grin* Spot, did you hear that? You'll be put in jail for what you're doin'...  
  
((*sing-song voice* Spot's goin' to ja-il! Spot's goin' to ja-il!))   
  
BUTTERS: I don't want Snipeshooter! I want Spot!! *proceeds to cry*  
  
  
  
SPOT: *Bursts out of the closet*   
  
BUTTERS: *gropes for Spot longingly*   
  
SPOT: *Shakes Sapphy* Why didn't youse tell me??   
  
SAPPHY: Mehe...   
  
STAGEY: Wow.   
  
SAPPHY: *Turns to Stagey* What?   
  
BUTTERS: I'm going to my room! *stomps off!*   
  
STAGEY: It's just... whoa. *shakes head* There is NO amount of therapy that could make this moment okay.  
  
RACE: *Smirks* Good ding we's both eighteen, right Sapphy? *Puts his arm around her*   
  
STAGEY: *cough*   
  
SAPPHY: *Very long pause* I'm almost seventeen...   
  
STAGEY: Ah, we'll make an exception for you!   
  
RACE: Yeah... *smile*   
  
SPOT: WHAT?!?! I can go tah jail, but not HIM?!?!?!   
  
STAGEY: Yer damn right!   
  
SAPPHY: *Nods*   
  
BUMLETS: *hops off of the fan* The future is so twisted... I LIKE IT!  
  
  
  
BLINK: I wanna party!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Smiles* Okay... *Starts waltzing with herself* Someday, my prince will come...   
  
STAGEY: *in her Mary Poppins voice* If we must, we must! Ah... me too!! *waltzes with herself*  
  
SAPPHY: *Starts humming the rest, 'cause she doesn't know the rest for sure, Waltzes over to Stagey* Mind if I cut in?   
  
STAGEY: Of course! *waltzes with Sapphy*   
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles, waltzes with Stagey* *Singing* I know you... I walked with you once upon a dream....   
  
NEWSIES: *stand around, looking dumbfounded*   
  
SAPPHY: I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar to me!!!   
  
STAGEY: Yay! *stops dancing abruptly* Oh my GOD, guys. You HAVE to watch the Disney Princess movies!!   
  
((Am I a friggin' genius or what?))  
  
RACE: WHA?   
  
SAPPHY: *Giggles* SLEEPING BEAUTY! OH PLEASE! *Begs at Stageys feet*   
  
STAGEY: Sleeping Beauty it is!!   
  
SAPPHY: *Sighs* I love Sleeping Beauty... It's so romantic... *Gets dreamy* *Sing to self* And I know it's true... *Sighs* Too bad WE don't have any prince charmin's eh Stagey??? *Stares at the wall dreamily*   
  
STAGEY: *growls*   
  
SAPPHY: *Snaps out of it* What?   
  
STAGEY: *wants a Prince Charming*   
  
SAPPHY: *Ditto* *Pouts*   
  
JACK: *Walks over to Stagey, a little more hesitant from before with the freak dancing* *Bows* I'll be your prince. *Smiles*  
  
((Meep. Guys, take note!!!!))  
  
STAGEY: *collapses from the sheer joy of it all!*   
  
RACE: *approaches Sapphy with a wicked grin* Someone call fer a Prince Charmin'?  
  
((*waves Sapphy's hand in the air happily* SHE DID! SHE DID!))   
  
SAPPHY: *Grins wildly at Race* *Glomps him* *Giggles*   
  
RACE: *glomps Sapphy*   
  
SAPPHY: HEY! I Glomped YOU! *Refuses to be on the bottom*   
  
RACE: *pauses* Sorry. *allows himself for be glomped by Sapphy*   
  
SAPPHY: *Wicked grin* Non pensi niente esso. La mia parte piccola di carne...  
  
  
  
RACE: *Slack jawed*   
  
STAGEY: *starts to come back from her little episode*   
  
JACK: *Helps Stagey up* What did she say Race?   
  
RACE: I'd rather not repeat it...   
  
STAGEY: *titters* Wooo....   
  
RACE: Meep.  
  
((Meep, indeed, Race! Apparently Sapphy, too, is one smooooth operator! *winks*))   
  
SPOT: *Chuckles* Youse so whipped...   
  
DUTCHY: Yeah, whipped!!  
  
RACE: *Glares at the newsies* Youse would be tah if she was da slightest interested in ya!   
  
NEWSIES: *shut up*   
  
JACK: *Holds Stagey close... Stares into her eyes*   
  
STAGEY: *wide-eyed, in tiny voice* Meep.  
  
SAPPHY: *Arches eyebrow* Stagey?   
  
STAGEY: *off in her own world...* Wha?  
  
((Lord, you can take me now....))  
  
RACE: *cocks eyebrow at Sapphy and seizes her passionately*  
  
  
  
SAPPHY: I love God for goin' out on a bowlin' night...   
  
RACE: MY turn ta glomp you!! *proceeds to glomp Sapphy*  
  
SAPPHY: *Raises eyes to the Heavens* Thank you...  
  
((GOD: You're welcome!))  
  
JACK: *Leans into Stagey*   
  
STAGEY: *would pray... but erm... speechless* *squeaks* Thank you God?   
  
JACK: You'se so beautiful... *Kisses Stagey amorously*   
  
STAGEY: *can now die a happy girl*  
  
((*swoons and staggers to her feet* Meep.))   
  
MUSH: *Shuffles his feet* What about me? I's so alone... *Puppy face*   
  
NEWSIES: *All nod sadly*  
  
((Don't worry, boys!! Our CC girls are a-comin' ever closer!!))  
  
STAGEY: *clicks on "Sleeping Beauty' and the others are suddenly entertained, leaving the happy couples alone*  
  
RACE: *observes the scene and stares into Sapphy's eyes* Let's do that....   
  
SAPPHY: *Stares at Race* Aren't we already? *Gestures to the fact he's on top of her*   
  
RACE: *grins* Let's do it some more!   
  
SAPPHY: Mehe...  
  
((*turns on Barry White to get Race and Sapphy in "the mood"*))  
  
JACK: *Carries Stagey to the couch, embraces her*   
  
STAGEY: *momentarily shoots Sapphy the ol' thumbs up*   
  
SAPPHY: *Returns the thumbs up to Stagey*  
  
((Oooh! I want the Barry White too!! *takes stereo*))   
  
RACE: *make out session...!*  
  
  
  
SPOT: *Watching television* WOW! Dat Aurora chick is HOT!   
  
((For the LOVE OF GOD, SPOT!))  
  
STAGEY: *rolls eyes*  
  
SAPPHY: *Stops in mid-kiss* Ugh... I'm no longer in the mood... *Wiggles out from under Race*   
  
RACE: *whimpers* Sapphy? Glomp? *tries Mush's puppy-dog eyes*   
  
SAPPHY: Hey, blame it on Spot and that mouth of his.. Sorry babe. *Lightly taps his cheek... Walks over and sits between Tumbler and Crutchy, proceeds to watch Sleeping Beauty*   
  
JACK: *Turns to Stagey* Did HE spoil our moment?   
  
(('Scuse me, Jacky-boy? Are we KIDDIN' ourselves here??))  
  
STAGEY: *looks at Sapphy, then at Jack* Nope!  
  
JACK: *Whispers* Hallelujah! *Kisses Stagey's forehead... Then her cheek... Then on the lips*   
  
RACE: *growls at Spot* Dammit, Spot!  
  
((*hands Race a blackjack* Get 'im, Race!))   
  
  
  
SPOT: *Cackles evilly as Race tries to snag him*   
  
RACE: Damn you, Conlon! We ain't on yer turf no more, an' I can kick yer ass!   
  
SPOT: If I can't have no fun, neither can you! *Giggles*   
  
SAPPHY: *Slowly* Did Spot Conlon just... GIGGLE???   
  
RACE: Oh, what, Spotty? You WANT Butters?  
  
  
  
SPOT: What da Hell do ya dink? I's come forward over a hundred years, and instantly find a goil who likes me!  
  
STAGEY: *pauses from cuddle session with Jack* What the hell, man?  
  
JACK: *Looks at Stage strangely* What? No!   
  
STAGE: *refuses to let it faze her*   
  
JACK: *Tries to proceed cuddling*   
  
STAGE: *cuddles back*  
  
RACE: *shakes head* C'mon, Sapphy! THEY don't let Spot get to 'em! Why can't WE do that?   
  
SAPPHY: B-But... Sleepin' Beauty is on... *Watches Aurora dance with Prince Phillip*   
  
RACE: Would dis help? *dances with her like Aurora and Philip are dancing*  
  
SAPPHY: *Jaw drops* Oh my gosh! I found my prince! *Swoons*  
  
((Yes, you sure did, Sapphy m'dear!! And what about the others? Ah, they'll get theirs soon!!))  
  
PIE EATER: *eagerly* Ya mean it, Stagey??  
  
STAGEY: *in Scuttle voice* Have I ever been wrong? I mean, when it's important? *looks over at Sapphy and Race being adorable* Well, I'd originally have Sapphy over here to tell you to review our stuff... but she's er... busy at the moment. *wants to be "busy" with Jack* So, I'LL do it this chappie! Pweez review! *sticks out lower lip*  
  
JACK: You'se so cute when ya beg... *glomps Stagey*  
  
STAGEY: YAHOO! *pulls down the shade* GO REVIEW!! 


	4. Let there be CC!

...And now for the reason you're all here: (or the reason at least the ten of you are here...)  
  
CHAPTER FOUR!!!- LET THERE BE CC...  
  
And awayyyy we go!! I'm sure you guys'll like this!!   
  
NOTE TO SAPPHY: I took SOME of what we did online with the RP, but a lot of it jus' woudn't fit in wit da whole CC thang... *grovels and says ten "Hail Mary"s* But I still think you'll like it! *big smile*  
  
************************************************************************  
  
((Ah, yes... where were we? Oh, right! Sapphy found her prince!! *melts*))  
  
STAGEY: Aw!! Yay, Sapphy!   
  
SAPPHY: *Is putty in Racetrack's hands*   
  
RACE: *grins proudly* Knew that dancin' would help!  
  
STAGEY: *melts at the sight*   
  
JACK: Care tah dance as well? *Arches eyebrow*   
  
STAGEY: *snuggles up to Jack* Nope... this is better.  
  
((*titters* Whooo...))   
  
  
  
JACK: *Pumps fist in the air* Yeeeessssss... *Kisses Stagey on the nose playfully*   
  
SAPPHY: *Rests head on Race's shoulder* Mmm... *Gets that wonderful fuzzy-sleepy feeling*   
  
RACE: *pulls Sapphy closer and kisses her lightly*   
  
SAPPHY: *Squeaks*   
  
STAGEY: *follows suit and puts head on Jack's shoulder and closes eyes... happy times*   
  
RACE: *hums "Once Upon a Dream" to the best of his ability*   
  
SAPPHY: *Is so content, is falling asleep while she dances*   
  
JACK: *Sings softly to Stagey* Da gleam in your eyes...  
  
((And suddenly, from upstairs in my room...))  
  
COMPUTER: Bing! Bing!  
  
STAGEY: *frowns sadly, wriggling out of Jack's arms* Aw, nuts... I left the computer on!!!  
  
JACK: *sulks* Man! *pause* What's a computer?  
  
STAGEY: *runs upstairs* Oh man... forgot about my chat!!!  
  
((Yes indeed. I was chatting with *takes deep breath* Scorch, Hope, Cyanne, Lyf, Mayo, Ade, Kael, an' Canarie, and apparently they thought I'd died!))  
  
MAYO: *via IM* Stagey! Oh my God! Where were you??  
  
CYANNE: *via IM* You don't love us anymore... *pouts*  
  
STAGEY: *typing frantically* Okay, guys... you are SO not gonna believe this, but--  
  
((THUNDERCLAP!!!))  
  
STAGEY: *falls over backward as the jolt sends her to the ground* Oh man... this computer's gonna be the death of me one of these days...  
  
((*from downstairs* DING-DONG!!))  
  
SAPPHY: Stagey??? Someone's at the door!  
  
STAGEY: *totters down the stairs and flings the door open* What the--?  
  
LYF: *waves frantically* Stagey?? Is that YOU??  
  
HOPE: *rubs tushie* Ow... my butt hurts!!  
  
CYANNE: *looks around* Somethin' tells me this isn't my bedroom...  
  
CANARIE: Oh my God... where are we??  
  
STAGEY: GUYS?! What the hell are YOU doin' here???  
  
SCORCH: *feels unloved* Well, fine! We should leave then!!  
  
((Oh, Scorch darlin'... if you but KNEW!!))  
  
SKITTERY: *runs to the door* Stagey? What's all this? *eyeballs Scorch* Hubba hubba!-- I mean-- that is--  
  
SCORCH: *gets all wide-eyed* Oh... my...  
  
STAGEY: *laughs sheepishly* Oh... that. Well, see-- a funny thing happened...  
  
KAEL: OHMYGOD!!! TREY PARKER!!! *goes after him*  
  
BLINK: *confoozled* Who's Trey Parker?...  
  
KAEL: *stops short* Wha... you mean you're NOT Trey Parker?  
  
STAGEY: Nope! He's not!! Kael, meet Kid Blink!! *beams*  
  
KAEL: *refuses to question the improbability, pins Blink in a hug* Oh my GOSH! I love you!!  
  
BLINK: *pimp smile* Oh yeah...  
  
STAGEY: *to Newsies* Guys? *to Sapphy* Sapphy? These are my other e-gals from the NML!! Say hello, boys!!  
  
ADE: *blushes, looks at Mush all shyly* Hi, Mush...  
  
MUSH: *grins, eyes wide* You know my name??  
  
ADE: *nods, smiling* Mmm-hmm!!  
  
MUSH: You, ah... want a Vanilla Pepsi? *leads her into the kitchen*  
  
((AWWW!!! *pats heart* How lovely!!))  
  
SAPPHY: *feels a little uncomfortable snogging Race in front of everyone*  
  
RACE: *cures her ills by carrying her upstairs*  
  
((Awww yeah, Race! TIGAH! Mrow!))  
  
MAYO: *huggles Stagey randomly* Aw, it's my fav'rite RP buddy!!  
  
STAGEY: Yay!! *happy dance with Mayo*  
  
DAVEY: *emerges from the closet*  
  
((Heeheehee... Davey's outta the closet!!))  
  
DAVEY: What's all this noise goin' on?  
  
MAYO: *wrinkles nose, looks at Davey approvingly* He's much cuter in real life...  
  
DAVEY: *beams* Really?  
  
MAYO: Yup! You betcha!! *chews on a candy bar, offers it to Davey* Want some?  
  
CANARIE: *meeps* This is so cool!!!  
  
LYF: *watches in awe as Bumlets spins in the fan* Like some kind of happy, happy dream...  
  
SAPPHY: *beams* Ain't it great? You'll get used to it after awhile!!  
  
HOPE: *ogles the boys* Not for a long time, we ain't!!  
  
CYANNE: I don't know how we got here... but I don't wanna leave!!  
  
STAGEY: *passes around a tray of cheese and crackers* So NOW what do we do?...  
  
BLINK: Oooooh! I know!!!  
  
******************************************************  
  
((DUN DUN DUN!!!))  
  
Gaaah!! What's Blink's brilliant idea? Does Stagey even know yet? Will the rest of the girls in the CC get with their respective guys? The answers to these exciting questions and more in the next installment of... THE DAY GOD WENT BOWLING FOR NEWSIES!!  
  
SAPPHY: An' you know the drill: REVIEW OUR STUFF!!  
  
STAGEY: It's the only way the story can stay alive!  
  
JACK: *flashes dazzling smile at our viewers* C'mon... review... ya know ya wanna...  
  
RACE: *displays handbag* An' all our supportahs get dis lovely tote bag!!  
  
SAPPHY: It's not nice to lie, Racey! *scolds him*  
  
RACE: *grumbles* Okay... there ain't no tote bag... jus' da pleasure of our company!!  
  
((Who could ask for anything more??)) 


End file.
